My Very Long Roller Coaster Day (Yesterday)
Ped’s appointment from hell
I am SO changing back to my old Pediatrician!
I was really excited because I got into a pediatrician that I wanted before I even had kids. I knew him because I was a church camp counselor with him for a few summers and he was an alumni from my college. As anybody who has been within talking distance of me the since about 3:15 yesterday knows, I was completely unimpressed and actually pretty pissed by the time I left his office.
First thing when we stepped into his office it was like Toys-R-Us exploded…there were little stuffed animals hanging from the ceiling a large felt board with a bucket of well over 100 felt shapes & animals, books…more stuff to do than the waiting room outside! Zach & I both groaned because with all of that neat stuff, we knew that it was going to hard to get Zane away from it to interact in the appointment.
The overall problem was that he seemed very passive-aggressive and downright hostile to Zane. He didn’t seem to have even a modicum of respect for me or dh and treated us like he was lying to him & uneducated the whole time.
Here is my list of complaints:
- Could not remember Zane’s name. Kept calling him Xander, and when he wouldn’t respond to the name immediately, said it sharper. I would then repeat the request (without the irritated tone in my voice that he had) using Zane’s ACTUAL name. Jon would then act all irritated that I was ‘interfering’ or something when Zane would respond to my requests. (well duh, he didn’t realize Jon was speaking to him the first two times…why would he respond)
- When going through the ’skills’ list he was asking about various things and I had to sit and think for half a beat as to whether or not he uses certain verbal things (pronouns, prepositions, other terms I don’t use in everyday life). I told him that he has only been speaking since he turned 3, so I had to think about some of the questions just a bit to try an remember. (btw, yes, he does use those things, but the technical terms for sentence diagramming is not something I think about as I listen to him). He then immediately said that he would highly recommend me having him evaluated for autism since he wasn’t talking (although he was talkative in the waiting room and the office, as soon as Jon walked in, he clammed up and didn’t say a word the entire time) and he didn’t make ‘good eye contact’ with him. (I had to concentrate to make eye contact with him…he was the only thing not moving in a very visually busy environment…add toys to that and a kid like Zane doesn’t have a prayer). He informed me that if he interacted the same way at his 4 year appointment, he would demand he be tested. (demand?!? really. boy, you really have some people skills there, don’t ya doc) He has seen him all of 5 minutes and he is going to demand that he be tested for autism?!? Being an introvert is not a genetic defect! My dad had a hard time making eye contact and talking on the phone even into my teens…he is about as far from autistic as you can get! He also made really snide little noises when I tried to explain what he is like in normal life, clearly not believing us. At one point, he said sarcastically “oh, just like Einstein, huh?”
- When going through family history part, he asked about ‘macular degeneration or cataracts’ and I said my dad has both. According to him, you can’t have both. What I should have said was “oh, well I will have to tell my Dad and all the specialists he has gone to over the years that he is wasting his money”, but instead I explained Dad had cataracts in his early 20s and MD now. He looked at me like he didn’t believe me. (a look I became very familiar with by the end of the appointment)
- His question: “what kind of milk does he drink”. I responded: Soy, rice, and some human. He said “I mean does he drink whole milk, 2%, skim…ect” I said, no he doesn’t drink cow’s milk straight. He does get cheese and yogurt, but doesn’t drink straight milk. My previous dr’s question was “how does he get calcium”, which is a much better question since that is probably actually what he was wanting to know. I guess Jon doesn’t realize that dairy, contrary to marketing, is actually one of the suckier sources of calcium. I think the term “human (milk)” just went over his head, but I wasn’t going to clarify it unless he asked since I was starting to get a really bad feeling about this interaction.
- Circumcision…you guys are gonna love this. Since I am pregnant and he practices at the hospital I am delivering at (which is a major reason I was planning on changing to him as a physician) I asked how he felt about circumcision. (great way to gauge his views and see how up to date he is, even if you don’t know what the sex is yet). He said he strongly preferred to circumcise because (get this).. it is more hygienic, less prone to infection and easier. He was ‘gracious’ and said he would ‘allow’ (ALLOW! he used the word “allow” in this context) a newborn to be uncircumcised, but since they usually got infected and needed a circumcision anyway, he would really try to encourage me to have it done right away, but it wasn’t one of his ’soapbox issues’. I would bet good money that the reason he sees so many ‘problems’ with intact boys is that he probably recommends people prematurely retract the foreskin to ‘clean it properly’, therefore damaging it and leaving it prone to infection. Oh, the things I could have said had I not been in such shock. (go to Feebee’s site for more info on circumcision…she is much more educated on the subject).
- I asked briefly if he would be ok with delaying vaxes on my newborn….didn’t even hint at selective vaxes yet (although at this point I was pretty sure of the answer and pretty sure we wouldn’t be seeing him…this was my last ditch effort to see if I was comfortable having him just at the hospital and then transferring his care back to Dr. F after we left the hospital) He said that he used vaxes that were the least reactive, even though the profit margin is lower for him. If I really insisted on separating them out (individual shots instead of the combo ones that are now so popular), let him know so he could order them and have them ready when he was born. Uh, no. I am pretty sure my one day old won’t be having sex or using street drugs before he leaves the hospital (hep B shot they give newborns), so I think giving them that vax is pretty stupid. I got the clear impression that he wasn’t going to be accepting of me even delaying it even a week (something I had to fight tooth and nail for when Zane was born), much less delaying it until they are preschool age. As we were leaving he reminded us, again, that he needed the vax records. Yeah, we heard you the first 5 times you asked…we aren’t deaf. (He also kept ‘reminding us’ that we needed to make sure and read to him every day…dude, didn’t I say he was beginning to read?…wouldn’t one assume that we are reading to him if he is beginning to read?…oh, that’s right, we must be lying) We also aren’t letting you within shouting distance of our son again if there is any justice in the world.
My first “official” OB appointment
Just down the hall from Ped’s office is my OB/GYN office. The second we left the doorway of the ped’s office, Zach declared that we will never be returning there again. I agreed, but we didn’t really have time to vent, so both of us felt a little off kilter walking into the office. Even though I was early, they still got me in right away. I was surprised.
Mom wasn’t there yet (since it was early), so Zach had to stay out in the waiting room for the first part of the appointment. With my brain buzzing from the Ped’s appointment, I had to try and recall my entire medical history. lol. A part of my brain was thinking “why do I have to do this…my medical history is sitting in that 2-inch thick folder you are writing on” I was having a horrible time remembering the dates of all my miscarriages…I am terrible with dates…I was having problems remember the YEARS they took place. lol. I kept saying “it is in there someplace” lol. It took forever to go through all that stuff. At some point after peeing in a cup and before my pap, Zach came back to join me and was able to help me with some of the dates of my surgeries and such.
One of the funny moments was the typical problem I have…taking my blood pressure. The automated cuff kept retrying and squeezing the crap out of my arm because it had problems getting a reading. Again, I got the comment on how low my blood pressure was (113/70) even though that is a bit higher than normal for me (it is often lower than 110/60 or there-abouts). Pretty good considering how tense I was after dealing with the Ped’s appointment. (In the past, I have had people think the cuff was broken because ‘there is no way somebody your weight can have that low of blood pressure’)
After the lovely pap, the nurse practitioner got the doppler to listen to the heartbeat. She couldn’t find it. My heart dropped. She was pressing so hard to try and get it that I could feel my skin around my c-section scar starting to tear just a bit (like when they did the sono a few weeks ago). She quietly said she would get the dr. We stood there in silence as I got dressed and waited for Dr. Br.. It took a while, but we found out later he had gone to Dr B, my Gyn since I was about 12 or 13 (about 23 years ago), since he knew me better to see if we should just wait or go ahead and do a sono. Dr. B said not to make me wait with my history. (which is a good thing, since I was doing everything in my power not to completely fall apart while waiting). So, he came in and confirmed that we had seen a heartbeat at the sono 3 weeks ago and asked if how I had been feeling. (wanting to see if I had a loss of symptoms or not…from experience, I know that sudden energy bursts and loss of nausea and other pregnancy symptoms at this stage usually is the result of fetal death). Then asked if the sono had been vaginal or abdominal. I told him abdominal, but I had been really surprised they got a reading that way and that it was really uncomfortable. He asked if a trans-vaginal was ok and I quickly told him I preferred it because it wouldn’t hurt nearly as much.
So, we went down to the sono room. He said he didn’t have it set up yet, but go ahead and get undressed (waist down) and he would be right back. When he came back in, I was on the bed and he sort of sheepishly said “I guess I should have started by introducing myself, reaching out his hand to shake mine and said “hi, I am Dr. Br.”. lol. He said he generally liked to get to know people a bit better before having to stick something into them. lol. (this was totally said in an appropriate, funny way…not gross at all) I told him that I knew who he was because I had seen him in from across the office for years, but was hoping the first 3 minutes of meeting him would be a little happier. (he does the OB side of the practice…so seeing him means I am pregnant, and for me, means there isn’t an immediatly apparent problem when I walk in the door. I have been to the point of an OB appointment time-wise, but since I wass spotting, Dr. B went ahead and saw me so I wasn’t dealing with somebody new in a crisis situation)
As he sits down in front of the sono machine, he states ‘typing is not my best thing’ Oh boy, was he not kidding. lol. I think Zane can hunt and peck faster than he can. After watching him type out J…….e…..n..n……………i………………….f…….e………………………r and then go SLOWER on my last name (because he had to look at every letter on my chart to get the spelling) I leaned forward to see the fields so he at least didn’t have to look back and forth….remember to say things like 0….4…(instead of just “4″)….1…..1….2….0….0….5 for LMP until he got to the point that it would let him do the scan without having to fill in any more fields. (at which point he breathed a big sigh of relief. lol)
He also offered to let me put in the wand, which I actually was having a difficult time doing and stated, while chuckling, “maybe I should have Zach help…I don’t do this very often”. (at which point I think I made him blush). Got it in, and the sac was right there, and within moments we could see a little fetus jumping around like crazy. (probably not very happy after the doppler and then the sono). I cried in relief. He said “well, we know it’s alive, we just need it to slow down so we can see the heart now”. He grabbed his cell phone and asked if it was ok to have Dr. B come in to see it, saying that they had both had very bad days and he thought he could really use seeing something so great. Dr. B came in and his face when he saw the baby was just priceless. He was so happy he looked like he was going to cry too. He said that it had really made his day, and I told him I was so glad that I could finally be the one to make his day brighter since he has had to give me bad news after bad news over the years.”
Then the little measuring thingy popped up and they both commented, wondering if the dates were correct because that doesn’t usually pop up this early in the pregnancy (usually not until another week or two). Dr. Br. said it was actually letting him measure the head and it seemed a little big for date. At that point, I teased Dr. B that ‘wasn’t he the one that told us we had big heads?’ resulting in a big ole belly laugh from him. He measured the heart rate and printed out some pictures for us.
So, as my final part of this very long post, here are some pictures of my babe. It is 3.6cm long, heart is 3mm, with arm (and hand) and leg (and feet) buds apparent (head down):
and a close up from that second picture
I am now off the progesterone, since the levels are now determined by the placenta instead of an ovarian function, and the amount I am taking is just a drop in the bucket compared to the amount the placenta is putting out. (I am guessing that shift happened sometime last week, the last few days I noticed that the pills didn’t change how I felt like they had in the beginning)
On one last note…when I went to wait for my blood draw, after the sono, I saw a bit of panic in the eyes of the lab tech. lol. It is only the 3rd time she has had me, but I am such a pain to hit that she remembered me. I ended up having to be stuck for almost every tube because my vein kept drying up/sneaking away as the blood was drawn. *sigh* I hate having my blood drawn. I knew it wasn’t going to go well because my mouth was dry….it is hard enough when I am well hydrated, if I am thirsty it is usually terrible.
