Taking the Scenic Route

Well, that was different.

Zane is not yet completely well.  He has a horrible cough at night and, despite saying he feels ok, he is really lethargic.  He is not the least bit interested in doing school today and wants to watch cartoons that he used to like, but has mostly outgrown.  I am guessing he isn’t actually feeling very good.

He is, however, craving hot sauce.  It is not unusual for him to want hot sauce, but today he seemed like he couldn’t get enough.  I figure that he has some sort of throat bug and his body was wanting the hot sauce to help kill it.  (I know that I sometimes crave super spicy foods when my sinus or throat is bothering me).  However, he doesn’t have a good grasp on what is too much hot sauce.  

I was sitting on the couch with Zora, who had just woken up from her nap, and all of a sudden he sprints past me to the bathroom and I hear the sink turned on and screaming.  I jump up and run to see what the problem was.  I think he threw up in the sink, but he was yelling “clean up, clean up” in between screams and his face was really red.  He was trying to get his face under the facet (wasn’t fitting).  I flip on the shower, rip his clothes off and stick him in there.  As I turn on the shower, Zora gets really excited and comes running as she is stripping off her clothes.  She gets underfoot which just increases Zane’s panic, so I lift her up, set her outside the door and close the door.  She is really mad and proceeds to spend the entire rest of the time we are in the shower pounding on the door. 

I get Zane in the shower and he sticks his face in the stream of water (something he doesn’t usually do willingly), but is still screaming and crying.  All I can think is that the hot sauce isn’t dissipating fast enough and is burning him, so I run to the kitchen, grab the jug of milk and pour it on his head.  Yeah.  ice cold milk on his head…you can guess how well that went.  However, it did seem to stop the burn.  He was still crying, but it wasn’t in a panic anymore.  He wants out of the shower.  I find the Benadryl and put it on his face as much as he will let me (he isn’t thrilled about it), and ask if he wants some chocolate milk (to help his stomach settle) and he does. 

I went through the entire gallon of milk in under 3 minutes.  However, his face is returning to it’s normal color now and he is playing happily in his room, so it is very worth it. 

Poor guy.  Scared the poop out of me. 

Zora is still mad at me and wants a shower.  lol

I have been annoyed with them for a while now.  The automatic “subscription” sort of annoys me, because they give you no warning when they are going to withdraw funds, but I can tolerate that.  From my understanding, it is a nightmare to get them to stop taking payments if you cancel your subscription, which I am not looking forward to.

The constant “upgrades” that screw with the layout are getting annoying.  Those “minis” are annoying.  The way you get the messages now in you email, and instead of taking you to all the comments, it just takes you to the one comment in the email is annoying.  But the dealbreaker for me is the hideous “home page” then have now forced me to go to.  Instead of just a modified version of what the public sees, with more buttons/options, it now takes me to a whole different screen that I find really hard to navigate and find anything on.  It looks like my space now.  There is a reason I don’t have myspace…I hate it. 

One of the things that attracted me to xanga in the first place was the ability to hardcode a layout to the way you like it.  With the “upgrades” I keep getting messages that it won’t accept any deviant code, and nag messages asking “don’t you want to use one of our fancy new layouts?” Uh, NO.  If I did, I would.  I don’t.  I am paying for this, leave me the heck alone!

Looking at getting wordpress and putting it on our private domain.  It will be a bit because I seem to have lost the ability to code on my own because I haven’t really used it in recent years and need Zach’s help to get it up and going again.  Ugh.  I used to be a guru at this stuff, but I am about 6 years behind now.  lol.  I have to lower myself to using a WSYWIG and it just drives me nuts.

I started out all gung ho on unschooling in the beginning. Loved the theory, have been somewhat interested in John Holt since college, was really looking forward to it. However, it didn’t seem to be working well. I got John Holt’s “to teach your own”, thinking that maybe I would figure out what I was doing wrong because Zane seemed to enjoy and do better with a more structured approach

When I got the book, after reading for a bit, I started looking to see if he said anything on homeschooling special needs. He did, and I turned to the pages listed, and low and behold, the example they gave was of traditional homeschooling. It talked of Dr. Greenspan, and described a family’s ideal homeschooling situation as one-on-one time in the morning to work on specific skills, and seeking out social situations for the afternoon.

So, when the grandfather of homeschooling/unschooling’s main example of “homeschooling a special need’s child’, is homeschooling in a structured environment (and the example was of an autistic child, like mine), I felt like I was right to question it for my child. Maybe the reason I wasn’t having success was because it wasn’t the right way for my son.

I think one of the key elements you need for a child to be able to learn by unschooling/totally child-led, is the ability to ask big questions. The ability to ask ANY questions would be the minimum requirement. My son doesn’t really ask questions in the traditional way. He does, sort of, but it is really difficult at times to determine what he is wanting unless there is an easy reference.

So, in the course of a unit study, he can ask a question and I can often figure out what he is actually wanting to know, but I would never be able to do that without that reference point. For that reason, it is a big deal to me that we do some sort of structured curriculum. If something really sparks his interest, I would joyfully let the curriculum take the back seat while we explore his new found passion, but I am glad to know that the curriculum is there when the passion wanes and gives us new opportunities to find new passions.

About the only place I feel like a little shit for shaping his learning is math. I let him keep going for a few pages, but then tell him we will finish our lesson, then at the end he can go back and do math if he wants to. (and he sometimes does, but he is often too worn out to do it right away.) I want him to keep his passion for math, so we do it right after the unit study to make sure he is really “awake” for the language stuff we do afterwards. Math is playtime for him. Language and communication issues are very challenging for him, but necessary, in my opinion. If he still has energy after we have completed the speech and language component, I offer to go back and do math. If he has energy, he loves to do it.

That said, I don’t think that my conclusion is universal.  I have a dear friend who successfully unschools her autistic son.  However, she had some differences in the environment that impact her success with that.  The main difference, is that her child is the 3rd of 6 children.  With that many siblings around, there is a built in exposure to many different interests and passions, and many more opportunities for his interests to be expressed than we have.  Many more opportunities for the questions to arise from the natural environment instead of the contrived environment of a curriculum.  Not only by the parents, but the siblings who have a very close connection to him. 

Zane, by contrast, is the oldest child, and his only sibling is too young to really provide that kind of exposure to new ideas and experiences.  Honestly, I was a little afraid to post this because I was afraid she would take offense to my conclusion, but I think that she will also recognize that our two boys, although VERY similar in learning style and intellect, are living in very different environments.  Although I am technically quiverful, I have only had two pregnancies make it to a live birth, so I don’t have that rich environment that she does.  I am, admittedly, a little envious of the environment she is able to provide to her child, but that is not the path God wants for me I guess.

I guess the most important thing for me is to not get so wrapped up in ANY educational philosophy that I stop paying attention to the child who is entrusted in my care.  Just as parenting, there are our ideals, and then there is what actually works in our day to day lives, and the two aren’t neccessarily going to be the same things because humans are not really able to be so easily categorized.  Day by day, step by step, doing the best we know how to do is the most we should expect from ourselves.

The day started out horribly.  I awoke to the sound of somebody throwing up in the dark bedroom.  Flipped on the light to see 3 blankets, the sheets, a pillow, Zane, and myself were all soaked.  What a start.  So, I cleaned up Zane and stripped the bed and started up the washer.  Zora was awake now too, at 4 am.

About the time I got Zora back to sleep, I got a call from the landlord to please move the car because the roofers were coming today.  So, we had a herd of elephants on our roof all day.  I would hear pounding, then screams of “NO! NO! NO! and STOP! from Zane, who clearly didn’t like it.  It was unfun.

The day did get gradually better, once the roofers left, but Zane was clearly still dragging and had some bad, bad diapers, but he wasn’t puking any more, so that was good.

At the end of the day, I put Zora to bed, and waited for Zach to return from putting Zane to bed so we could watch a movie.  I waited, and waited, and waited, and finally decided to peek around the corner to see what they were doing.

Both sound asleep.  Zane still had his legs crossed and was holding the book open. 

Moments like that just make my heart melt. 

My son, who will not eat a single vegetable (even carrots, potatoes, and corn) will, apparently, drink spinach and bok choy, even in large quanties, if blended with apple juice with the Vitamix.  Woah.  Our other blender couldn’t get it smooth enough to get a drinkable texture for him (we tried, since he will drink the $5/bottle juice off the store shelf of a similar make-up).  Suddenly the Vitamix (our tax refund purchase) seems worth the price. 

Tomorrow, carrot ice cream!  (Yes, you can make ice cream with the thing, really good ice cream actually.  Or, you can make “yogurt ice cream” and just blend yogurt with frozen fruit, and maybe throw in some nuts, and the kids will think they are in heaven because they can have “ice cream” for breakfast every day if they want to.)

Although it isn’t the only (or even the main) reason I support Obama, I like Obama’s treatment and attitude towards Autistic people a lot better.

Hillary supports “Autism Speaks”, which is an organization of parents who see Autism as a horrific tragedy and has a movie showing the infamous mom who was going to drive off a bridge to kill her daughter and her, but decided not to because she still has a “normal” daughter that needed her. It’s goal is to erradicate autism, not to help autistic people. They see autism as seperate from the individual. The main problem with that is that autism is probably genetic, so you can’t ”cure” autism, you have to eliminate autistic people to erradicate autism.

Obama, on the other hand, supports funding for therapies and education and things that actually HELP Autistics. He has met with adult autistics (something Hill hasn’t done, from my understanding) and talked to them about what is needed and about the discrimination people with disablities/differences have.

Although he uses the language “people with autism” also (person first language, and the “polictically correct” format for most disabilities), he also uses the term “Autistic Americans”, which is straight out of the neurodiversity / Autism acceptance movement, who don’t see autism as something seperate from their persons, but rather a difference in thinking and perception of the world, with it’s own strengths and gifts.  Some of the most influential and creative minds our world has seen were on the spectrum. 

For those who are unable to function without support, and there are many that fall into that category, we need education, and a much better system for supporting developmentally disabled adults in this world.  The  ADA needs to be expanded and enforced, there needs to be funding for training support personnel, and it needs to happen soon.  The laws should protect DD people instead of being used by schools and other agencies when the “support people” and “teachers” are too lazy to do their jobs, too selfish to make any effort towards learning and training, and too intolerant to see people with differences as people with feelings.

We went to the caucus tonight.  At our polling station they were expecting 100-120 people.  They GROSSLY underestimated the turnout.  The line outside the door was about 5 or 6 blocks long, out in the sleet.  HUNDREDs of people, winding around, in freezing sleet (that turned to snow).  We waited about 20-30 minutes in line before Zora just couldn’t take it any more.  She was too cold.  She was bundled up good, but the wind was biting and she didn’t want to be held any more.  We contemplated Zach taking the kids and coming back to pick me up and another person in line told us to go to the front.   We did.  When we got to the front, we asked if it was ok if we cut in line because our kids were getting too cold, and not only was it ok, the crowd turned around and helped us make it through the glut to get to the actual inside.  Inside, there was another 3 or 4 blocks worth of lines zig-zagging through the hallways. 

While waiting, we found out that the main gymnasium had already filled up and they were sending the Obama supporters still in line to the other gym for overflow.  The main gym was a combination of Obama and Clinton.  The gym we ended up in had 1120 people (plus kids) in it.  It was the smaller gym.  Literally, standing room only.  Packed, wall to wall.

It was supposed to take “maybe an hour”.  It took more than three hours.  When we left there was several inches of snow to trod through, and a lot still falling.  Our car was about 5 blocks away, the closest spot we could find (and only as close as it was because our car is small).  We had to uncover our car to get in and leave.  We got home about 10pm, four hours after we left.  We were TIRED.  (the adults at least.  Zach held Zora almost the whole time, except for a while when we were outside). 

It was inspiring.  It was amazing.  I kept having to choke back tears seeing the passion of the people I stood with.  I have never seen anything like it in my life.

The thing I found particularly amazing is that they asked the crowd how many people had changed parties to vote in the caucus and a couple hundred hands went up.  There is hope.

Obama won Kansas by 80% (not all the numbers are in yet, so it might be a few points off).  Can you believe it?

eta:  an article in the local paper.  It doesn’t mention our caucus site, but I think it is largely because they just weren’t expecting many people to show up and didn’t have any reporters on hand.  lol  http://www.kansas.com/news/story/303360.html

I can not believe I am actually typing this, but after the umpty million email forward, apparently people are not getting it.

OBAMA IS A CHRISTIAN. 

He is NOT a Muslim.  The email that has been going around is a very effective LIE. 

I think it is a pretty sad world where people grab onto prejudices like that in the first place, but even sadder that it seems to be working.  Ugh.

Obama and his family attend a mainline Christian church.  As a Christian, he will use a BIBLE to swear in. (a practice I disagree with by the way… I think it is blashphemous to swear on the word of God, and your word should be sufficient, but that is a point for another day)

Although I know this from having research him over the years, it is also on the snopes.com site, a site that takes various urban legends and emails and researches them to find out if they are true or not. 

The link to snopes on Barrack Obama: 

the summary (click on the underlined links for more info) 

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/obama.asp

the big email, followed by a breakdown of why it is so patently false: 

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/muslim.asp

eta:  for those who have sent it to me and just wanted my opinion on it, or were suprised and wanted to know if it was true, I have no issues with that.  In fact I welcome questions when things like this come up.  It is the people who are sending it to me thinking, somehow, I would be horrified and suddenly “see the light”.  Well, I am horrified, but it isn’t how you intended. 

Autisic student handcuffed for singing

6-Year-Old Autistic Student Criminally Charged After Alleged Assault

Teacher breaks student’s finger

12-Year-Old Special Education Student Charged With Disorderly Conduct for Wetting Pants

Baldwinsville aide accused of slapping autistic student

Counselor Sentenced For Having Sex With Autistic Student 

Groups file suit over autistic student’s death

State education board considers restraints for special ed students here in Kansas

Harvard Study Finds Special Ed Students Inappropriately Segregated

And it goes on, and on, and on.

What the hell is wrong with people?