Taking the Scenic Route

Life is just rolling along at a nice click.  Our serious cash flow issues are temporarily abated by my mom helping load our (aptly named) “freeloader” card for Walmart/Sams, so we can afford gas and food for the next two weeks and one of our bills being able to be moved to after the paycheck.  Whew!  Thank goodness for the loan, it really helps.  I can make it stretch enough.  Zora has a lightweight coat that should suffice for the next two weeks until payday (unlikely to get super cold, and in a pinch, she is still little enough to use a blanket if necessary), and one pair of non-sandals that was a hand-me-down from Robert’s girl that still fit.  So, crisis abated.  Last summer of no paycheck is still impacting us.  If we hadn’t incurred that debt, we would be just fine, but paying back the loans from the summer and kids growing out of clothes, and our therapy costs going up a bit (because we make more this year…sliding scale) has thrown a wrench into things.  It should loosen soon though. 

I am still struggling a bit with balancing home schooling and housework.  It seems like I can do either one or the other, but am having a hard time managing both at once right now.  Part of the problem is that when I am working with Zane on school stuff, Ms. Destructo is undoing the “clean” at an astonishing pace.  I know this will get better, but housework has always been something I struggled with.  I have a touch of OCD, and I really have had to come to terms with being able to start something even if I am not sure I can finish it to my satisfaction.  Before kids, our house was often just this side of squalor.  I never felt like I could get it clean enough and was so overwhelmed I just froze up.  The depression helped perpetuate the cycle.  Since kids I have gradually gotten better, to where I still wouldn’t be thrilled if somebody showed up unexpectedly, but it usually is just cluttered, not a total disaster zone.  However, I haven’t quite got the balance of keeping things clean while homeschooling.  Zane can’t really self-direct yet, so if I am working on school stuff for him, almost everything that keeps Zora from going ballistic involves a mess to a degree…even if she is at the table.  She loves messing with the school supplies, but it usually involves a lot of dumping and after a bit, tossing items to the ground.  If she isn’t on the table, she is dismantling cabinet contents in the kitchen, dumping every toy, dragging laundry all over the house, or taking apart bookshelves.  Or she keeps bringing me food that isn’t edible (like bags of rice and beans) and gets mad that I won’t open them for her.  It is a little crazy some days.  I know it will get better with time, but I haven’t really got the knack yet.

At the end of ST yesterday (which Zane is doing really well at), while watching the kids play with the hallway toys, I was chatting with the clinical educator for a while about church & SNs (she is Catholic and I found out one of her brothers is an Archbishop working with the Pope…how cool is that) and what a challenge it is to attend church, and the difference in how churches approach SNs (most say that all people are welcome, but very few actually make it actually possible) and the respite care program at our church.  She knew the person who started the respite care program from when she used to work in a neighboring school district and was really pleased to hear the program had gotten off the ground.  She talked a bit about how her church handled some of the issues too.  It was a great conversation.  To this point I had really avoided talking much “church”, but since the program is simply run by churches, but more of an interdenominational and inclusive effort (you only have to have a SN to use the program, you don’t have to be any particular faith, or any faith for that matter, to use the service) I wanted to hear if she had heard anything about it.  (It is a rare thing for her to have NOT heard of something like this, and if you know her well enough, she won’t mince words about her opinion of how a program is run)  So, her having a positive opinion really holds some weight with me. 

On a funny note, when we were wrapping up our conversation and getting the kids herded to the door, as Zane left out the door we did the usual “goodbye” and his response, after prompting him to say “goodbye” louder instead of mumbling was “whatever” as he was walking away.  I suppose we should have been dismayed, but both of us were looking at each other with our jaws on the carpet, she went up to him to get him to say it again, and instead of repeating “goodbye” he repeated “whatever” and both of us laughed and shook our heads in amazement.  It was such an unexpected expression.  I suppose if it continues we will have to work on it, but for the time being I am just enjoying the novelty and self-expression of it.  Wonderful!