Taking the Scenic Route

I have been lurking at a different parenting board the last weeks.  I discovered it through an MDC link and I am really feeling a connection there.  It is a

<QUOTE>Mom By Grace from Gentle Christian Mothering wrote

Something that I wanted to bring up, though, about the hard days. Just because you have hard days (or seasons) doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. Just because your toddler or preschooler isn’t “getting it” doesn’t mean they are doing something wrong, either.

There is huge, huge pressure that as mothers, we place on ourselves to be perfect, to always do the “best” thing, to have the results to show in our parenting. I think a lot of the mamas at GCM feel that pressure extra at times, when we are in RL communities where punishment is the norm. We feel like we have to “prove” that it “works.” We don’t allow ourselves the grace we so much want to show our husbands and children.

Punitive mamas feel a lot of the same pressures. So do mamas with a lot of children. We all feel the pressure to prove ourselves, to make sure we aren’t “failing”. Honestly, having been in punitive circles, there are a lot of mamas who feel just like the mamas in this thread. Only they are trying to convince themselves that spanking IS working and they are going to smile and keep at it until they can prove it is.

The difference in punitive circles, is that when you are having a rough patch or your child is not measuring up to First Time Obedience, then obviously, YOU are doing something wrong. You aren’t “ambushing” them, you aren’t swatting enough, you aren’t being consistent enough, you are letting your child have too many freedoms, you are letting your child out of your sight. You, you, you, you, you. Tremendous pressure. And it is all YOUR fault.

I really would desire for the mamas here at GCM (and really, all mamas) to remember the GRACE that is the base of discipline that we are all striving for. God is so gracious to us. God knows we are not perfect. God knows we sin against our children, our husbands, our selves. What does He tell us? Try harder? You need to be more consistent? Not at all!

“Come, all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.” Because of God’s grace, we can go to God when we are struggling, when we are failing. We can repent when we need to, we can rejoice that Christ’s sacrifice has already covered those times of anger/unkind words/impatience. We can pray in those moments we struggle. I don’t think we can live out GBD without really relying on God and depending upon Him each day. And that can be really hard. </QUOTE>