Taking the Scenic Route

Never were there sweeter words!  We are finally all home.  I have been very busy already trying to manage everything.  It will take a bit to get into a nice groove with this.  Since I have been trying to write this entry for several hours already (and ended up posting it after the clock turned to the next day) I will just keep it short this time.

First, thank you all so much for the thoughts and prayers for our well being.  I felt your support.  I was so excited to read Zach’s blogging and all of your comments in my absence.  It was really a great welcome home present!

Second, I will write out the birth story and about our stay in the hospital.  It is likely to be done in short bursts due to time constraints.  I am not going to go into it all tonight.  I will say that my husband now totally understands why people who are able to do a home birth safely would want to.  It is hard to come up against the medical establishment when you are exhausted and in pain.  However, I will say that we did manage to keep her off of formula ’supplementation’ despite a LOT of pressure and I managed to keep a decent working relationship with the staff while holding my ground on “breastmilk only”.   It really felt like a battle at times though.

I also want to thank my mom for staying with me in the hospital the whole time.  It was good to have somebody else in the room who was supportive of Zach and my parenting decisions, especially on the breastfeeding issue, and helping me deal with the stress when I was so tired.

I am so glad to be home.  It was truly one of the most challenging weeks of my entire life.  I can’t tell you how difficult it was to be separated from my guys.  I have never been apart from Zane for more than a few hours, and even then it is a really small amount of times.  I don’t think I have spent a night apart from my husband since we have been married.  Not being able to talk to him at length or just hold and touch each other for this high pressure week was more difficult than I can really express.  He is my partner in all things though, whether we are together or apart, and I could not have made it through the week without him.  I know he was as lonely for me as I was for him, but I also know that he handled a very difficult and chaotic situation with a strength and love that makes me realize just how lucky I am.  I wasn’t surprised he could cope, because he is as much of a parent as I am, but I am thankful for the depth of his ability because then I at least didn’t spend a moment worrying about the welfare of Zane, just missing them both terribly.  That is something many mothers are not blessed with.