Taking the Scenic Route

Posted by MysticMama on MDC on the subject of CIO

OK. You asked for it. Is bleeding good for your veins? Crying is NOT good for their lungs. Babies don’t even NEED to cry at birth to clear their lungs. Many do, for that reason. Beyond the first few minutes at birth, crying does nothing but use up a lot of energy (read: Calories) that should be used in other avenues (read: brain development). Crying is THE Worst possible way to “develop” lungs. WHEn I cry and am crying hard, I will often have an asthma attack because my lungs/airways are becoming inflamed. Crying CLOSES the airways. It does not clear them. No matter what you do, babies/children do not reliably sleep through the night until they are four years old. Think about that. It’s not developmentally appropriate for them to sleep RELIABLY through the night until four. Plus, sleeping through the night is defined as five hours straight through. Heck, I don’t sleep reliably through the night. I check the clock, I use the bathroom, I get a drink. There’s so much unrealistic pressure on these children. Sigh. If a woman asks her partner for a hug, she hopes that he will respond in a compassionate way, without stopping to determine if she has had too many hugs already, or is trying to “manipulate” or “train” him. If he ignores her request or responds with annoyance, the relationship suffers. If he continues to respond in this way, the relationship may well end. Yet this same woman may not see the parallel when she ignores her crying toddler. Gary Ezzo popularized this “METhod”. HE made parents believe evil things about their babies. IF you have read babywise, or used it, I strongly urge you to stop. Babies have DIED From that method. www.ezzo.info is a good site with science to back me up. I wouldn’t let you cry… why would I let my precious baby cry? She can’t tell me what’s wrong any other way. SOon will come the day when she doesn’t want me to hold her, rock her, kiss her. Soon, she will be “too big” for such things. Eric’s parents went so far as to lock him in his room because he would have night terrors (from earlier bouts of letting him cry for hours), and he would try to leave the house. SO, the left him in there… locked in… no one around.. to scream for help. HE still has night terrors because of that awful start he got in life. Beware of using someone else’s training method to get your baby to sleep or get your baby on a predictable schedule. Most of these methods are variations of the tired old theme of letting baby cry it out. Before trying anyone else’s method, run it through your intuitive wisdom. Does this advice sound sensible? Does it fit your baby’s temperament? Does it feel right to you? Keep one thing in mind when you consider letting your child cry it out. If you were upset and could not speak to communicate your needs, and you were crying in the middle of the night, how would you feel if your spouse walked by your room and ignored your cries? You would continue to cry until you came to the realization that the person who means more to you than anyone else in the world was not going to help you. Then you would stop crying. You would stop crying not because your needs have changed or gone away; no, you stop crying because you feel defeated. It is no different for your child. But there is no doubt that repeated lack of responsiveness to a baby’s cries-even for only five minutes at a time-is potentially damaging to the baby’s mental health. Babies who are left to cry it out alone may fail to develop a basic sense of trust or an understanding of themselves as a causal agent, possibly leading to feelings of powerlessness, low self-esteem, and chronic anxiety later in life. The cry-it-out approach undermines the very basis of secure attachment, which requires prompt responsiveness and sensitive attunement during the first year after birth. The need for prompt response dwindles ONLY SLightly after that first year, as babies wants are no longer really their needs, however response is ALWAYS needed. Remember that cortisol is produced during all types of stressful events, and that high levels of cortisol seem to be associated with a number of effects, including low immune system functioning.

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette…renNeedTou.html

THe whole article is great.. here is a brief exerpt
“Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they’ll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School’s Department of Psychiatry.”

http://web.archive.org/web/20010305…y/aa040100b.htm
When the infant is in a state of helpless fear and panic the amygdala kicks in and sends messages to the brain to prepare the body for “flight or fight.” An infant can neither fight nor flee. If the panic isn’t subdued by intervention from a nurturing adult, the flood of chemicals and hormones may rage through the brain, specifically targeting the amygdala and hippocamus, for an unhealthy length of time.
Crying infants who are unattended have been known to cry desperately for an hour or more until the amygdala eventually shuts down. The infant in turn, learns after repeated episodes that it can not expect comfort and response to its cries, and it may decide its needs are unworthy of attention and nurturing–a decision which may ultimately affect the infant’s development self-worth.

http://www.babyreference.com/BondingMatters.htm

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

http://www.naturalchild.com/advice/q09.html

http://www.elizabethbauchner.info/columns/throw.html

What exactly is “It”? WHat does the baby have to cry out? (article above)

http://www.christian-mommies.com/ag…aby-cry-it-out/

http://www.naturalchild.com/peggy_o…azy_mother.html

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/sl1.asp

http://www.findarticles.com/p/artic…158/ai_63692736

ARticle on controlled crying: even 5 minutes does harm
http://www.earlychildhoodaustralia….ed%20Crying.pdf

http://www.naturalchild.org/researc…ng_infants.html

If I still know you, which I like to think I do, this will change your mind. Don’t worry about what you’ve done… just make it right from here on out. BTW, none of this relates to a kid of any age having a temper tantrum becuase… heaven forbid… you want to pee by yourself this one time. IT also doesn’t mean if you’ve had a screaming baby for an hour in your hands, and you put her down for 5 minutes to cool of so you don’t throw her out your kitchen windo, that is bad. IT just means there is no GOOD reason to cry, that there is always something causing the crying, and you can almost always figure it out and fix it. Babies were meant to be held. that’s why they can’t hold their heads up, sit, crawl, walk, etc. THEy need us. For all they know, there is a bear right around the corner. EVolution has brought us this far, and if grown ups didn’t respond to babies cries, we wouldn’t be here.