As they day wound down and people left, we found ourselves lingering until it was just us and the other siblings with Jennifer. I think it was the first time it really felt ike family with the siblings for Zach and I. The uncomfortableness was gone and we were just connected.
All through the week we learned things about Dad, his relationships, how he lived, and our siblings. I am not going to share them on the blog because they are too personal, but I will say that we had some misconceptions. Zach and my heart healed a lot this trip, in ways I could never have anticipated. I hope they are also wanting to continue building a relationship with us.
As sad and hurt as I was that Jim had never met Zora, I am not any more. Although I realize that he could have made different choices, I understand that he did want to see her. That was good to know.
Sidetrack into autism stuff:
I still don’t really understand why nobody knew that Zane was autistic other than the siblings. That was a little weird for us throughout the week. I was confused, at first, why we were getting *that* look, but figured out that nobody knew. I guess I forget that “Autism” is still a scary word full of stigma for other people. I know he was tight lipped about things, but I was just really suprised that they hadn’t even told Jennifer’s brother, a doctor. He actually hunted us down on Saturday, shortly after he had found out about it. He had a granddaughter (I think…my brain was so foggy when he talked to me I am not 100% sure) who was non-responsive and showed many autistic traits as an infant. He did a huge amount of research and used biomed techniques (specifically, treatment for yeast overgrowth) and she is now indistinguishable from peers. (seriously, I didn’t notice any of the kids with any sort of autistic tendencies…so if that child was there, she really is indistinguishable even to the somewhat trained eye).
He talked to me at length about Zane’s symptoms (and man did it make me dig in my brain…usually I can list off all of his tests and evals and treatments off the tip of my tongue, but I was really fried and was struggling to make my tongue work. lol). He got me a script for some non-systemic anti-fungal and I am going to get with my doctor here to have him work with me on doing yeast treatment on Zane. Thankfully, he also agrees with going low and slow so it isn’t hard on Zane. I started him on a low dose of the meds when we got back and am doing a lot of reading on the diets I am going to need to implement. The diet part is really going to be rough because it looks like almost his entire diet is yeast-feeding. (except for meat) I plan on starting to change the diet tomorrow, the day after Halloween. (He has been looking forward to Halloween for the entire month and I was not going to tell him he can’t have any candy on Halloween…it could wait a few days)
So, I am back to evaluating poop on a daily basis. Fun. (no changes yet, btw)
There was also another person there I was introduced to who worked with special needs kids. They worked with a new program where you strengthen different parts of the brain to help increase learning. It takes into account which hand/foot/eye/ear is the strongest and develops a program based on that. I didn’t totally get it (again, major brain fog), but it sounded interesting. I have to dig through my stuff though because I know they gave me a pamphlet of some kind that, presumably, has the name of the program on it. The only thing I can remember of the name is the picture I have in my head of the “Little Giant Ladders” that I have seen infomercials for. I am not sure if the name has something to do with “ladders” or “orange ladders” or “little giants” or some other weird thing that I remembered that way for some reason. lol. Sometimes a visual memory can be really confusing.
And, back to the subject…
I am really glad we went. Zach was resistant to going for a while, but I knew he needed to, and I knew it would be a good thing, but I don’t think I even came close to understanding how true that was. When every body is raw and stripped bare by the trauma of such a sudden passing, it can go either way…either it is the last event that forever rips a family apart, or it pulls everybody together even closer than they were. In this case, even though we feared the former, we most definatly experienced the latter.
And, to finish on a lighter note, at the end of the day our camera was full. Zane picked it up wanting to take pictures, so Zach went through the camera and erased a few pictures so there was space for Zane to take about 3 pictures. The first was the back of a Ritz box, the second was the cool lighting fixtures in the kitchen, the third was this, confirming our suspitions that he really connected with Tirza:
