Taking the Scenic Route

I started out all gung ho on unschooling in the beginning. Loved the theory, have been somewhat interested in John Holt since college, was really looking forward to it. However, it didn’t seem to be working well. I got John Holt’s “to teach your own”, thinking that maybe I would figure out what I was doing wrong because Zane seemed to enjoy and do better with a more structured approach

When I got the book, after reading for a bit, I started looking to see if he said anything on homeschooling special needs. He did, and I turned to the pages listed, and low and behold, the example they gave was of traditional homeschooling. It talked of Dr. Greenspan, and described a family’s ideal homeschooling situation as one-on-one time in the morning to work on specific skills, and seeking out social situations for the afternoon.

So, when the grandfather of homeschooling/unschooling’s main example of “homeschooling a special need’s child’, is homeschooling in a structured environment (and the example was of an autistic child, like mine), I felt like I was right to question it for my child. Maybe the reason I wasn’t having success was because it wasn’t the right way for my son.

I think one of the key elements you need for a child to be able to learn by unschooling/totally child-led, is the ability to ask big questions. The ability to ask ANY questions would be the minimum requirement. My son doesn’t really ask questions in the traditional way. He does, sort of, but it is really difficult at times to determine what he is wanting unless there is an easy reference.

So, in the course of a unit study, he can ask a question and I can often figure out what he is actually wanting to know, but I would never be able to do that without that reference point. For that reason, it is a big deal to me that we do some sort of structured curriculum. If something really sparks his interest, I would joyfully let the curriculum take the back seat while we explore his new found passion, but I am glad to know that the curriculum is there when the passion wanes and gives us new opportunities to find new passions.

About the only place I feel like a little shit for shaping his learning is math. I let him keep going for a few pages, but then tell him we will finish our lesson, then at the end he can go back and do math if he wants to. (and he sometimes does, but he is often too worn out to do it right away.) I want him to keep his passion for math, so we do it right after the unit study to make sure he is really “awake” for the language stuff we do afterwards. Math is playtime for him. Language and communication issues are very challenging for him, but necessary, in my opinion. If he still has energy after we have completed the speech and language component, I offer to go back and do math. If he has energy, he loves to do it.

That said, I don’t think that my conclusion is universal.  I have a dear friend who successfully unschools her autistic son.  However, she had some differences in the environment that impact her success with that.  The main difference, is that her child is the 3rd of 6 children.  With that many siblings around, there is a built in exposure to many different interests and passions, and many more opportunities for his interests to be expressed than we have.  Many more opportunities for the questions to arise from the natural environment instead of the contrived environment of a curriculum.  Not only by the parents, but the siblings who have a very close connection to him. 

Zane, by contrast, is the oldest child, and his only sibling is too young to really provide that kind of exposure to new ideas and experiences.  Honestly, I was a little afraid to post this because I was afraid she would take offense to my conclusion, but I think that she will also recognize that our two boys, although VERY similar in learning style and intellect, are living in very different environments.  Although I am technically quiverful, I have only had two pregnancies make it to a live birth, so I don’t have that rich environment that she does.  I am, admittedly, a little envious of the environment she is able to provide to her child, but that is not the path God wants for me I guess.

I guess the most important thing for me is to not get so wrapped up in ANY educational philosophy that I stop paying attention to the child who is entrusted in my care.  Just as parenting, there are our ideals, and then there is what actually works in our day to day lives, and the two aren’t neccessarily going to be the same things because humans are not really able to be so easily categorized.  Day by day, step by step, doing the best we know how to do is the most we should expect from ourselves.