Taking the Scenic Route

There has been a lot of talk about spanking and hot sauce on the tongue as punishment on the Gentle Discipline boards and lists I subscribe to because recently, a couple on an NPR show talked about how wonderful spanking was.  There has also been some attention to Lisa Welsh (I think that is her name…”Blair” from “Facts of Life”) who is one of those self rightous, twisted, annoying ‘christians’ (I can’t capitilize Christian when I firmly believe her actions show that she is anything but Christian).  On a show or book or something she advocates abuse to raise children the *cough* “biblical way”, including putting hot sauce on their tongues if they talk back or use bad language.  First, let me say, that I find that pretty funny because ds LOVES hot sauce and it is the only way we can get him to eat some foods…but we are talking about Louisiana hot sauce, not tobasco here.  However, anytime you forcibly do things like this with the intent to cause hurt or shame, I really think it is more about the parents inability to act maturely and all about them getting out their frustrations and anger out on the child.  Nothing to do with discipline, everything to do with domination and abuse.  I find this especially true in today’s world when we KNOW the effects of spanking.  I don’t blame people who spanked before we understood the effects and therefore didn’t seek alternatives (because a lot of people did it even though it didn’t feel right because ‘that is what you were supposed to do’), but how can anybody in today’s world still do this ?!? 

Anyway, on one of the lists I am on, the question was posed:

“Is “spare the rod, spoil the child” really in the bible?  People say that all the time, but I have yet to have a person actually say WHERE in the bible.
“
and here is an answer that I thought was well articulated.  I knew that “rod” had nothing to do with sticks and other implements to beat your child, but this explanation is really great:

No, it’s not.  There is a verse in Proverbs that says “He who spares his rod, hates his son, but he who loves him chastens him early.”  Which makes great sense when you understand that the “rod” is “Shebet” and it was the staff of authority held by the head of a home, and to spare it means to set it aside.  “Chasten” comes from a Hebrew word that means “verbally correct” and carries the connotation of “Come let us reason together”.  So the verse is saying that a father who loves his son will take seriously the responsibility symbolized by his shebet and reason together with his son about God’s Law.–nothing at all to do with spanking. Oh, and the word for “son” is “na’ar” and is used for individuals from age 6-20, and since the ability to reason isn’t developed until 14 this verse is speaking about a late adolescent (who would have been responsible for offering his own sin offering at 21). So it’s about making sure your young men understand God’s Law before they were accountable for
upholding it.
Crystal Lutton
Author of Biblical Parenting
http://www.aolff.org
“Parents do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”  Eph. 6:4

Link from another blog I like:  Myths of Spanking